Let’s call her Amie. It really doesn’t matter who she is. I’m not writing about any specific person. I suppose I’m writing about all of us. It’s so easy for us to play the victim card.^[1]

Let me take it back. I’m writing about me. At times I can act the part of the professional victim. The overarching character trait of the victim mentality is a person who is upset, mad, or bothered because they are not getting what they believe they deserve.

This is not just an American idea, but it’s an Adam idea. Ever since sin entered the world by one man, we all have been affected in hard to discern and deceptive ways (Romans 5:12). One of the main negative effects of sin is this attitude we deserve better than what life has doled out to us.

I’m not suggesting you assume the role of a morbid fatalist. The person who must resign herself to a woe is me world view. That kind of implication leaves her always looking at the floor, while living in a twisted fear of the next bad thing which is going to happen to her.

This is not about resignation, but about biblical reality. I know Dave Ramsey, et. al., have popularized the better than I deserve mantra and it’s catchy and kinda cliché. It’s also biblically true if you’re a Christian.

If God is your King, then you are doing much better than you deserve. With that said, this does not mean you’re going to get all the desires of your heart. But isn’t that the rub?

But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. – Hebrews 3:13 (ESV)

Buying the deception

The victim mindset has bought into the deception of the devil–But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.” (Genesis 3:4, ESV) We don’t want to believe the bad news, but would rather entertain the possibility of having more than what God has promised.

The victim mindset does not want to live in the reality of God’s Word–for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. (Genesis 2:17, ESV) There are some hard and God-imposed realities in our lives.

This is difficult for a person with a victim world view to accept. They have fully bought into the, “I deserve better than what I am getting” attitude. While that world view is tempting, it’s not possible in a cursed world (Genesis 3:7-15).

If victimization begins to take a dominating role in your mind, you will be setup for ongoing and unending relational conflict. In process of time you will become a professional victim.

The professional victim peers through the lens of, “I am right and you are wrong and my views are non-negotiable.” This leaves those who try to care for the professional victim in a hopeless and helpless place.

Anyone who gets within her sphere of observation will be critiqued, judged, and sentenced according to her standards. Her standards are always some version of, “You’re not meeting my expectations, desires, and preferences. Therefore, you’re going to pay for what you did to me.”

Heart check time

I’m curious. If you’ve read thus far, who have you been thinking about as far as being a victim. If it was not you, then you’re on the road to becoming a professional victim. No, I’m not trying to trick you, but to help you.

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? – Matthew 7:3 (ESV)

Another controlling characteristic of the professional victim is she cannot judge herself as being wrong. If there is wrong in her world, it is always outside of herself. It is always what others have done to her.

The first person you should have thought about as falling prey to becoming a professional victim is you. To think otherwise is to deny what Jesus asked you to do–judge yourself before you judge others. This is one of those rare biblical moments where you should put yourself before others.

When you’re thinking about any sin, you always begin with a healthy, sobering, and biblical self-assessment. “Only by the grace of God am I any different.” We are to look up at others, not down on them.

The former is the look from the proud heart. The latter is the look from the humble heart. The humble Christian heart realizes she’s not a victim, but a the recipient of God’s kind mercies. She has been born from above.

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner! – Luke 18:13 (ESV)

She realizes where God found her and her heart is biblically broken because of the gratitude which comes forth from it. She understands who the biggest sinner was, as she rejoices in her new identity in Christ (1 Timothy 1:15-16).

This is why I recanted my opening salvo by saying, “Let me take it back. I’m writing about me. At times I can act the part of the professional victim.” While I could talk to you at length about many professional victims I have met through my counseling career, the one I struggle with the most is me.

Sitting at the intersection

There is hardly a day which goes by where I don’t succumb to the role of the victim. It can be as simple as sitting at a busy intersection which is not allowing me to have my way.

It happens most often with my wife. She is like me–a fellow sinner. This means there is always the possibility of misunderstandings, miscommunications, and other miscalculations.

Each time one of these mis-events happens in our marriage, I’m at the intersection of a choice. What will I choose? How will I respond to my spouse?

1. Will I choose to walk with the humble, realizing the redemptive opportunity which is before me?
2. Will I choose the path of the proud, demanding my self-imposed and self-defined rights?

This is a big deal and it probably happens more than you realize. The easiest and simplest way to assess yourself is by recounting those moments when your response to disappointment was not premeditated.

I’m talking about being surprised by something which entered into your world unannounced. Just today I started our van and heard the engine struggling to turnover. I went to my counseling appointment and afterward I got into my van and started it up.

It was even more sluggish than this morning. My day was immediately altered. It did not matter what I wanted to do. Either my alternator or my battery were going to take me in a different direction. It was my battery.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. – Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

I spent the afternoon with a mechanic. My day was not supposed to go this way. This micro-event is a picture of the macro-events of my life. I’ve said in another place, “If I knew what my life was going to be like before I became a Christian, I would not have become a Christian.”

There is a big warning here

A sinful response to disappointment is the beginning of the victim mindset. I honestly don’t think most Christians realize how a simple grumble or criticism is a setup for a life of self-imposed misery.

This is the damnable-ness of it all–they never realize it was self-imposed, but always see their disappointment as something which was done to them.

They are looking out the window, blaming someone else for what is wrong. All the while, they are damning themselves to a life of miserable victimization. I want you to slowly and carefully read this passage from Hebrews 3:7-15 (ESV).

7 Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, 8 do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, on the day of testing in the wilderness, 9 where your fathers put me to the test and saw my works 10 for forty years.

Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart; they have not known my ways.’ 11 As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest.’”

12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

14 For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. 15 As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

Did you note the seriousness of this passage? Did you feel the warning? Did you see the problem? You could break down the passage in 9 logic steps:

1. What you see and how you see will determine what happens next. – verse 7
2. A test came into your life. – verse 8
3. You responded sinfully to the test. – verse 8
4. A wrong response puts you in opposition to God. – verse 10
5. This keeps you from the very thing you long for, which is rest. – verse 11
6. The root cause of this is an unbelieving heart. You’re not willing to trust God through the test. – verse 12
7. In due process, your heart is hardened because of the deceptiveness of sin. – verse 13
8. Your relationship with Christ is challenged and compromised. – verse 14
9. The question becomes, “Can you see what God sees and will you change your mind?” – verse 15

Caring for the professional victim

There is a strong possibility a victim will read this article and not see what I am saying. In fact, I know it will happen. The professional victim will read this article and may even give mental ascent to some of the truths.

What she won’t do is fall on her knees and pray for God’s mercy. She won’t see herself as the hard-hearted person who needs God’s gracious forgiveness more than her desire to hold on to her un-forgiveness for what others have done to her.

She won’t see what she has done to Christ is exponentially worse to the 10th power more than all the horrible, real, objective, and painful things which have been done to her. She can’t show mercy to others.

And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you? – Matthew 18:33 (ESV)

I said can’t on purpose. She can’t show mercy on the person who has disappointed her. This is the damnableness of the Hebrews’ passage–her heart is hard to the point where she cannot perceive the right biblical response.

Where does this leave you? This brings us to the main point of the article: how do you love, care for, and help the “professional victim”? Here are a few tips and thoughts in no particular order:

• Her hurt is not only real, but it’s real to God. She has been hurt. Be sensitive. Be careful. Be delicate. Weep with her (Romans 12:15). Care for her with tears (John 11:35; 1 Thessalonians 5:14).
• Ask the Father to give you insight into how to help her (John 17:17). You need wisdom. You need God’s intervention into your life.
• Remember she can’t see what you see. Like a baby bird in a nest with skin canvassed covered eyes. She cannot see. You show mercy to her (Romans 2:4).
• Pray for God to do for her what you can’t do (Proverbs 21:1). More than likely you will be damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Regardless of what you do, you will eventually feel her critique.
• Remember she is not rejecting you, but she is rejecting God. This is between her and God most of all (1 Samuel 8:7). Don’t take it personal. This is not about you.
• Don’t engage to win an argument. You won’t win. You’re playing by two sets of rules. Like a rugby team playing a football team. It will become confusing and there will be more hurt if you try to engage, thinking reasoning will work.
• Guard your heart from sinning back at her. She is caught in sin and needs your restorative care, not your frustration (Galatians 6:1).
• You can’t help her the way she needs help. God will have to penetrate her heart to bring the change needed (1 Corinthians 3:5-6). Do not take on the role of a mini-messiah. You water and plant the best you can and trust God to bring change (2 Timothy 2:24-25).
• There is a part of her which does not want to get better. Sometimes a person’s misery becomes a twisted form of security, which keeps the person from coming out of their prison of hurt because she assumes she will be hurt again. It’s akin to an institutionalize convict.
• Her mind has been captivated by sin, to the point where there is a stronghold which has her ensnared. See Battle for the Mind.
• Be sure to surround yourself with people who are wise with biblical sense. If not, you can slip into her vortex of confusion, to the point where you lose your spiritual bearings.
• Pray. Pray for her. Pray for you. This is bigger than what you can accomplish. This is a God-job. Cooperate with Him, not against Him (James 4:6).

Rick Thomas – http://www.rickthomas.net/

Matt. 6:19-24.  -  31min.

Summary of the sermon:  We all live for a treasure, that treasure controls your heart and your behavior. Money and materialism can blind us spiritually.  Stats on the stewardship of the church.  Is our lifestyle earthbound or heavenbound?  Is God enough for you?

Click on the link below to listen.  Thanks!  -pd

http://madetofish.com/sermonmanager.php?sermonID=48110&

The reason is because for a long time I bought into a lie, and that lie says, “Counseling is for “professionals.”  It’s for those trained in “secular psychology.”  And pastors are far too busy to worry about counseling people especially when they can refer them to see the “professionals.”  I no longer believe that lie.

For a long time it has always been a passion of mine to make Disciples of Christ, after all that is the Great Commission which Jesus commands us to obey.  What drives me as a Christian and as a Pastor is my love and passion to glorify Jesus Christ.  That really is the bottom line as to why I am getting my Certification in Biblical Counseling.

Romans 15:14 says, “My brothers, I myself am convinced about you, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able to instruct one another.”  The word “instruct” is the Greek word “nouthetic” which means to caution, to put in the mind, to reprove gently, to instruct, and to admonish.  Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.”  The word admonishing is the same Greek word, nouthetic.

So, God’s Word clearly tells us that as Christians we are to counsel, to instruct, and to admonish one another in the wisdom of God’s Word and His Gospel.  For far too long the church has allowed secular psychology and even Christian behavior modification ideas to be the answer for people’s problems.

But all that does is put a band-aid on the souls of people.  It doesn’t get to the heart of the problem which is the problem of the heart.  When we think man’s ideas can solve our deepest problems, we are not trusting in the sufficiency of God’s Word or the power of the Gospel to transform lives.

Biblical Counseling is not against science or the use of medicine, but its foundation is the authority of God’s Word and the Gospel.

Ephesians 4:12-13 says,  “For the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, growing into a mature man with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.”

This is not just for Pastors, it is for all Christians.  The role of the Pastor is to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry.  It is not a Biblical idea for the Pastor to be the one who does all the work of the ministry.  Counseling is the work of the church.  But it will be my priority to shepherd the flock in this area of ministry.

If you love God, if you love His Word, if you are filled with the Holy Spirit, if you have been affected by the Gospel, and if it’s your desire to make Disciples of Christ and obey the Great Commission, then Biblical Counseling is your mandate as well.

Whenever you are encouraging someone to trust God, or to believe in Jesus, or to love the Lord, or to place their hope in God, or to rest in the Gospel of God’s amazing grace, then you’re a Biblical Counselor.

The church needs to reclaim the ministry of Biblical Counseling.  The church is not a place for perfect people; it’s a hospital for the hurting and a training center for those who have been redeemed by God and who desire to glorify God by admonishing one another with the hope we have in Christ!

The purpose of a Biblical Counselor is not to give my ideas and advice.  My ideas, my ability, and my advice won’t change anybody.  So the goal of a Biblical Counselor is to point people to Jesus, and our textbook is the Bible.

The goal of a Biblical Counselor is to help people make a connection between the problems they are facing to the power of the Gospel.  It’s to help people grow in God’s grace as they become more and more like Jesus.

My role will be to listen and care for the people I’m counseling and then help them understand their root issue of what’s going on in their heart, and then give them the hope that is found in God’s Word and in the Gospel.

I will receive my Certification in Biblical Counseling through Rick Thomas and the Counseling Solutions Group.  Their website is RickThomas.net.  The program is a two year program which only requires about 4 hours of my time each week.  That is easy for me and will in no way affect my higher priority to my family and to my church.

I am paying for 100% of my training.  But it is also a self-paced program so if things get busy I can do less work or if things are not busy I can speed up my work.

Anyone in the church is more than welcome to get certified as well.  The great thing about this program is that it will not only help me to grow as a Counselor, but it will also help me to grow spiritually and that helps me as a Pastor.

As a Biblical Counselor I will be able to help people who suffer with, and deal with a host of relational, emotional, and spiritual issues.

Confidentiality is an utmost priority, one that will be guarded while at the same time – seeking counsel and accountability through the church that will also be a means of experiencing God’s grace as we grow together.

True growth and change comes not through one person, the Pastor, it comes through the church when together we are growing in Christ-likeness and we are all using our spiritual gifts to glorify the Lord.

The counseling I provide will be completely free to those who attend our church.  If someone wants counseling and they don’t attend our church the fee for them will be to attend our church on a regular basis.

If they attend another church their pastor will know I’m counseling them and I’ll try to influence him to get certified.

Biblical Counseling is the same as discipleship.  If you think that counseling is not for you, then you’re basically saying, “I’ve arrived, I don’t need to grow, and I don’t need discipleship.”  But let me remind you; let me practice “nouthetics.”

Jesus said in Mark 2:17, “Those who are well don’t need a doctor, but the sick need one.  I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

So, as fallen broken people who live in a world surrounded by fallen broken people – we all desperately need Christ to rescue us and to restore us.  Biblical Counseling is not about beating someone over the head with our Bible.

It’s about loving people with the love we have been shown in Jesus Christ.  It’s about pointing people to the Lord who is the Gospel, He is the good news, and He is the way, the truth, and the Life!

I will no longer refer someone to see a “professional” who will charge you hundreds of dollars when we have the answer right here in the Bible.

The Gospel is an inexhaustible well filled with wisdom, love, and grace for all who run to Jesus for rescue and restoration.

God’s grace is sufficient and His Word is sufficient to speak into people’s lives and to transform them forever.  His grace saves us in a moment, but Biblical Counseling is really helping someone grow in the grace of sanctification which is a process.

I’m excited about this opportunity to grow in this area of serving our church.  I want to do it for God’s glory.  I want to see lives transformed by God’s grace, and I want to be a part of a congregation that shares in the vision of helping people look to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

I do have plans in the future to provide a free seminar on equipping the people in our church in Biblical Counseling.  So you can have an opportunity to be trained as well.  That free seminar is not a Certification program – it’s an all-day seminar, or we can break it up and do it in two days, but it will give us the basics to have a Biblical Counseling ministry in our local church which is something most churches don’t even have because they probably believe that lie as I did.

Here’s what changed my mind:  When hurting people become captivated by Christ, when broken people stand in awe of who God is, when sinners delight in God their Savior, when Jesus is their Lord and Master, when they love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, captives will be set free!  The truth will set them free!

They will have hope for the future, they will have an unending joy despite their pain, and they will be emotionally and spiritually healed by God’s power alone.  They will be delivered from sin and restored in their relationship with God.  Even in their suffering they will see that God is good!

So, I want to thank the Church Board and I want to thank you for your prayers and support as I seek to become certified.  I pray that it will be a blessing to many people.  If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask me.  And thanks for letting me share this with you.  To God be all the glory!

The goal of our Christian growth is getting to know Christ, becoming more like Christ, and being used by Christ.   But when we sin we are believing Satan’s lies rather than trusting in God’s truth.

Stability in our struggles isn’t trusting in our understanding; it’s standing on Christ who has everything under His feet!  Christ is in control.

Though our sin is great, His love is greater!  Thank God for Jesus!

As a Pastor, one of the joys in serving the Lord and serving His people is to pray for people who I have come to love and care for.  God gave me a wonderful church to pastor and even though facing death is a painful and difficult trial to endure what a blessing it is to know that our church family prays for us, and our Savior is near those who are grieving the death of a loved one.

Loneliness is often associated with mourning.  We feel the pain of losing our loved one.  We long for the day when we will see our loved ones again face to face.  We grieve because we miss having them in our life.  All of that is normal.  I’m touched whenever someone shares the memories of their loved one.  I’m blessed to hear about their life.  And I am especially affected when someone knows God’s peace in the midst of their pain.

I’m thankful that God never leaves us nor forsakes us in our pain.  We live in a sinful, fallen, broken world, so our heart yearns for the day when everything will be made right again.  One day there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more despair, and no more death!

This Sunday is Easter.  My sermon is about “Real Hope.”  If it wasn’t for the resurrection of Christ then our faith is in vain, yet we serve a risen Savior.   We may grieve, but we don’t grieve as those who have no hope, for we can find peace in the presence of God!  He’s alive, therefore, we live!  And one day we will see our Savior and loved ones face to face!  Can you imagine what that will be like?

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die,  yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. -John 11:25-26.  Those are comforting words for those who mourn, but the shortest verse in the Bible is also comforting…. “Jesus wept.”  -John 11:35.

Jesus’ tears were generated both by His love for Lazarus, and by His grief over the deadly effects of sin in a fallen world.  He was truly “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”  But while the Jews were correct in seeing Jesus’ sorrow as evidence that He loved Lazarus, they were wrong to think that His tears reflected the same hopeless despair that they felt.

The stage was now set for the compassionate Savior to visibly substantiate His claim to be the Resurrection and the Life.  And as you know, Jesus would persuasively demonstrate His power over death by restoring Lazarus back to life.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”  The Lord is not only near us as we mourn, but He also gives hope to those who remain.  The Lord will give us grace and strength to persevere until the day we die and go be with the Lord.

I’m also thankful that life and death is all about the Lord.  It’s the Lord’s presence and blessings that continue to meet our needs even when life is hard.  It’s the Lord that walks with us.  And it’s the Lord who always loves us; in fact, nothing can separate us from His love.

One of my favorite promises in the Bible is Romans 8:28 which says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”  What a blessing it is to know that we serve a God who is good and who is in control.

My mind can’t comprehend why certain things happen, and that’s ok.  We can know that the Lord is working in our life.  The Lord’s grace is sufficient.  The Lord is enough.  So we can trust in the Lord even when things don’t make sense.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

In our time of grief, we can trust in the Lord.  This world is not our home.  The Lord is preparing a place for us as He has done for our loved ones.  Psalm 42:5 says, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”

It may be true that we will greatly miss our loved ones, but this is also true, it’s a prayer Paul prayed, and it’s my prayer for you as your pastor, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” -Romans 15:13.

We don’t walk this life alone.  God sent His Son to rescue us from sin and sorrow.  God is a God of hope.  He’s a God who cares.  He’s a God who is worthy!  Praise Him for His mercy and grace.  Praise Him for His comfort and peace.

Love and prayers, Pastor Doug

By:  Pastor Douglas Graham

Matthew 12:28-30 says, “If I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you.  How can someone enter a strong man’s house and steal his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man?  Then he can rob his house.  Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters.”

In Matthew 12 Jesus clearly shows that He is of God and He is saying He is the King!  The Kingdom of God is wherever Jesus is because He’s the King!

He has shown He’s the King by healing the sick, cleansing the lepers, giving sight to the blind, setting free the demon possessed, raising the dead, forgiving sinners, and preaching the Gospel.

Even His enemies didn’t dispute that His power was supernatural; however they said He’s of Satan.  Yet Jesus shows how their accusation was foolish, bias, and rebellious.

Jesus has demonstrated that He has the power to bind up Satan, the strong man, but Jesus is stronger!  Jesus is greater than Satan.  He has come into Satan’s house, bound him up, stole his property, cast out his demons, healed everyone, and delivered people from sin and death!

And Jesus is still doing that even to this day.  Before we were born again, we were all Satan’s property.  We were children of wrath.

We were ruled by the prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2), and He took us out of his hand and delivered us!  He set us free!

The death-blow to Satan was struck at the Cross, where Jesus destroyed the Devil who had the power of death (Hebrews 2).

Since Jesus is the King and since He sits on His throne, He invites us to come into His Kingdom, which means you have a decision to make.

Will you turn from your sins and place your trust in Christ to be your Savior?  Or, will you continue to love darkness rather than the light?  Jesus said, “Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters.”

In other words, there is no neutral ground.  You either gather or you scatter.  You either say, “Jesus is of Satan,” or you say, “Jesus is of God.”

There is no middle ground.  You can’t say that Jesus was just a good guy, or a moral teacher, or even religious.  He is either of Satan or of God.  Which also means, “You’re either with Me or you’re against Me.”

Once you’ve made your decision, it affects how you live.  You will either gather with Him to build His Kingdom, or you will scatter people away from His Kingdom.

You are either on His team drawing people to His Kingdom, OR, you are sending them away, and that is based on whether you’re with Jesus or against Jesus.

So you have to ask yourself the question, are you drawing people to Jesus or away from Jesus?  There is no middle ground.

What Kingdom do you live for?  Who’s side are you on?  God’s or Satan’s?  Jesus is stronger!  Trust in His power to set you free!

Here is a link to a video that says it best!  It’s a great worship song!  It’s entitled, “Stronger.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd2r3qQqMFE

The words are powerful!  Enjoy! 

Click on the link below to watch:

http://youtu.be/pze4kMuvcfk

March 17, 2013.

“It’s All About Jesus”

Matt. 12:14-21.   -   42 minutes.

http://madetofish.com/sermonmanager.php?sermonID=45793&

9 Characteristics of Jesus, and how we can be more like Him!

Let’s say you have been born from above.  God has regenerated you.  You were once dead, but now you are alive in God.  You are a believer.  Then my question to you is a bit different.

Are you a believer who believes?  Are you a believing believer? (See Mark 9:24).

Here are some questions, which I hope will assist you in reflecting upon and responding to my query.

How you answer them will inform you if you are a believer who really believes.  When I use the word believe, I also mean all of its synonyms like trust, faith, confidence, and hope.

Do you have your confidence in God as opposed to yourself?  Are you exercising faith in God because He is right rather than trusting in your strength or wisdom?  Try these on for size and see if you are a believing believer:

Are you a Christian who is characterized by worry?

Are you a Christian who is unwilling to forgive someone?

Are you a Christian who holds anger or resentment toward someone?

Are you a Christian who lives in regret or guilt about decisions in your past?

Are you a Christian who refuses to submit to the clear teaching of Scripture on a matter?

Are you a Christian who rarely or never confesses your sin or asks others to forgive you?

Are you a Christian who is bitter or critical toward another person and refuses to forgive them?

Are you a Christian who is unwilling to submit to your biblical authorities, e.g., spouse, church leaders?

If any one of the characterizations on this list is how you generally operate, then the first place to begin assessing your heart is whether or not you are a Christian.  I appeal to you not to punch your “salvation ticket” too quickly, but humbly examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith.

I would further appeal to you to ask other spiritually mature men or women who know you well to bring their observations to you.  It’s too important not to take this seriously and soberly.

A person who has been born again would be humble enough to allow another person to speak into their life.  A proud–possibly un-regenerated–person would be angered or bothered or impatient with someone “questioning their salvation.”

Let’s assume you are a Christian, but one of the issues in the list above is how you struggle.  If this is the case, then you are an unbelieving believer.  You’re a believer who does not fully believe in all Christ has for you.

The point of emphasis for the unbelieving believer is not about their salvation, but about their sanctification.  It’s hugely important you understand and make the distinction between being regenerated and progressive sanctification.  Both of these doctrines require faith–belief, hope, trust, and confidence in God.

For the believing believer, it is not about whether you are a Christian, but whether or not you’re going to step-up to your inheritance from your heavenly Father and truly live in the good of the complete Gospel.  Are you going to become who you already are?

If you become grumpy, frustrated, angry, possibly let out an expletive, or use some unkind sign language, then you are an unbelieving believer at that moment.

Before you can ever think rightly about the circumstances in your life, you have to think rightly about God.  In fact, it is how you think about God that will give you your interpretation and your perspective of the circumstances in your life.

If you believe that God is good, then that is how you will interpret what is going on in your world.  That will not mean that what is going on in your world will always make sense or be according to your preferences.

It simply means that your view of God–He is good–will trump the evil in your world and give you the sense to think biblically about your suffering.

You do have a grid for how you interpret and respond to what is in your life.  Did you know that?  That grid will determine your life.  It will control you.

One of the ways you can “test yourself” is by re-asking those eight questions above. How you answer those questions will tell you immediately if evil generally trumps good or if good generally trumps the evil in your life.

Joseph had a “good trumps evil” worldview: … you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good… – Genesis 50:20 (ESV)

Joseph did not deny either the good or the evil in his life, but the one (good) that took priority in his heart determined not only how he responded to his brothers, but how he thought about and responded to God.

What has more control of your heart:  the goodness of God or the evil in your life?  How you answer that question will tell you quickly if you are a believer who believes or if you’re an unbelieving believer.

Pretend you’re a marionette, with strings attached to your limbs. Who or what controls those strings is your theology.  If the evil in your life controls you, then you’re an unbelieving believer.  If God is the one controlling those strings, then you’re a believing believer.

If you are more controlled by the evil in your world, then you must reconcile that with God before you can interact with the evil or the people who are behind the evil.

If your starting point is not “God is good and He is working His good in my life through this horrible circumstance,” then I will tell you that you will never be able to navigate successfully through the circumstance.

You don’t have the empowering grace to work through this. Your efforts will collapse around you and your disappointment will only compound.  Before you can make things right with your “enemy,” you must make things right with your God, the One who allowed your enemy to bring the evil into your world.

A Gospel primer:

There are two ways to stand at the foot of Calvary and look upon a dying king.  Either what you see is evil trumping good and your life will be unalterably disappointing or His death is good trumping evil and you’re about to turn the world upside down.

How will you approach your disappointments?

Do you stumble like the Jew?  Do you pass it off as foolishness like the Gentile?  Or do you see that what God is allowing is His wisdom and His power?

…we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. – 1 Corinthians 1:23-24 (ESV)

Will you become a believing believer today?  By:  Rick Thomas.net

Matthew 12:14-15 says, “But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.  Jesus, aware of this, withdrew from there.  And many followed him, and he healed them all.”

Jesus didn’t have the fear of man.  He didn’t withdraw out of fear; He withdrew because He was on God’s timetable, not man’s timetable.  He knew He had to die on a cross, not die by being stoned or thrown off a cliff.

Jesus was being rejected by the Pharisees, yet He wasn’t controlled by what they thought of Him or what they could do to Him.  He didn’t get depressed or angry over their opinion of Him.  Most people because they have the fear of man will feel depressed about being rejected, or they might seek revenge, but not Jesus.

Jesus was more concerned about doing God’s will not man’s will.  Matthew 12:18 says, “Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased.”  Jesus knew He had His Father’s approval.  He knew His Father loved Him and that’s freed Him from the fear of man.

The fear of man wasn’t a problem for Jesus.  When someone has the fear of man, people are big and God is small, but when someone has the fear of God, people are small and God is big.  And that’s the way it should be.  God is our object of worship.  Yet when I have the fear of man it’s because I’m preoccupied with myself instead of God.

It’s not man’s approval that we need in order to live, it’s God’s approval.  Matthew 10:28 says, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.  Rather fear Him  who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

When you have the fear of man you’re a slave to man, you’re always worried about what man thinks of you, and what man can do to you, but when you have the fear of God, you’re set free to serve people and love people, even your enemies.

Jesus wasn’t controlled by people, He wasn’t afraid of people, but He did care about them.  Matthew 12:15 says, “And He healed them all.”  He was all about doing His Father’s will, while at the same time He showed compassion toward the needy.

When God controls you, when He is your object of worship, when you have the fear of the Lord, you’re set free to show compassion and sympathy toward people, and not live in worry, depression, or revenge.

When we place our faith in Jesus Christ, we are trusting in His life, death, and resurrection to be our hope!  He transforms us to be more like Him.  His grace and truth sets us free to live to do God’s will, not our will or man’s will.  And He sets us free to love as He loved.

When we live to do God’s will and show compassion to those around us, we are obeying the greatest commandment which is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.

If you have the fear of man, you can’t love others.  You can’t love others because you’re preoccupied with self.  And if you do not love others, you don’t have the fear of God.

When you have the fear of God, you will have love for God and love for others.  They go hand in hand.  So the question is – how do I get the fear of God?  The answer is the Gospel.  Get to know Jesus.  Seek to honor Jesus.  Place your faith in Jesus.

Just as God the Father loved His Son and was pleased with His Son, and Jesus lived to do the will of His Father, so too, you and I need to find our identity in Jesus Christ.

God loves us, His Son died for us, He is now pleased with us, our sins are forgiven!  We have a new name, with a new heart.  We are a new creation, all because of Jesus!  That’s the Gospel!  It’s not the opinion of others that matters.  It’s His opinion that matters.

It’s not that we are rude, indifferent, or uncaring toward others; it’s that our eyes are fixed on honoring God and loving God, not living for the approval of man.  When Jesus is our supreme affection we are now able to truly love our neighbor.

To have the fear of God – every day we need to embrace the Gospel.  Thank God for Jesus!  He is our example!  He is our Savior!  He alone is worthy!